Learning to love being alone

Five years ago, as a freshman in high school, I would constantly beg my friends to hang out and essentially do anything to get out of the house. Now at 19, with more friends than I could have imagined having and a community that I love oh so dearly, there are a lot of times where I retreat to the small depths of my corner, my safe space to recharge and enjoy time with myself.

I think even just two or three years ago, I would have cried at the thought of having to go sit at a restaurant alone, go on a run without my mom or friends, or even simply talk to an authoritative figure like a professor alone. Today, I prefer running alone and appreciating the nature that surrounds us; I often sit in a restaurant alone without complaint; and I love talking to my professors, administrators, and other authority figures alone.

Okay, you’re probably thinking, “Get on with the point, Amie.” Well, here it is: in college, there are going to be times when you need to be alone, and for so many people, that is terrifying. So, we need to learn to love being alone.

In high school, my happiness was heavily reliant on my social interactions. I felt incomplete without constant companionship. But as I transitioned to college, I realized that being alone didn’t mean being lonely. It meant having the opportunity to connect with myself on a deeper level.

The fear of being alone often stems from societal norms that equate solitude with loneliness. We are conditioned to believe that our worth is tied to our social circles and how often we interact with others. This mindset can be particularly daunting when you move to a new environment, like college, where building a social network is crucial but can also be overwhelming.

Being alone provides a unique opportunity for self-reflection. It allows you to understand your thoughts, feelings, and desires without external influences. This self-awareness is crucial for personal growth and development. Doing things alone, such as running or eating at a restaurant, boosts your independence and confidence. It teaches you that you are capable of enjoying your own company and making decisions for yourself. When you’re alone, you tend to notice and appreciate the little things around you. Whether it’s the beauty of nature during a solitary run or the ambiance of a quiet café, solitude enhances your sensory experiences.

 Begin with small steps, like taking a walk alone or spending a few minutes meditating. Gradually increase the time you spend by yourself to build comfort and familiarity with solitude. Engage in activities that you genuinely enjoy. Whether it’s reading, painting, or hiking, doing something you love makes being alone a pleasurable experience. Design a personal space where you can retreat and feel safe. This could be a cozy corner in your room or a favorite spot in a nearby park. Set small, achievable goals for your alone time. This could be anything from journaling your thoughts to exploring a new part of town. Having a purpose makes your alone time more fulfilling.

Today, I find immense joy in my solitude. It’s a time for me to recharge, reflect, and grow. I’ve learned that being alone doesn’t mean being isolated; it means giving myself the attention and care that I deserve. In college, and in life, there will be moments when you need to be alone. Embrace these moments. Learn to love them. Because in solitude, you will find strength, clarity, and a deeper connection with yourself.

So, to all my fellow students and anyone who fears being alone, take a step back, breathe, and learn to enjoy your own company. It’s a journey worth taking.

Signing Off, XOXO, Amie <3